I was a very good follower of my flawed heroes and figured drink is the suitable remedy for anxiety tonight. I don’t know why I did it, because it was very minor anxiety, my mood was good and I knew it’d pass by morning. I felt violently fed up with it. What business has anxiety to be here? I’m well! Get lost, get away. Such a pest and nuisance. Like a mosquito at night, will so crush you and stamp you out!
I felt quite strong though, even when driving it out with a weak person’s means, I felt strong. And now I feel very pleased with myself. It was quite empowering to destroy it.
On the other hand, the depressant effect later on does not seem so desireable. I already caught myself thinking that I’m too confident and optimistic. What really lies between the better future I envision and being back to square zero? Very little. My own self and good fortune. And I cannot rely on either. Everything’s so fragile.