I like this photo of her.
I like this photo of her.
The truth is,
laziness is my undoing.
I’ve never had to, never learnt to put in a lot of effort to acquire knowledge and understand things at school. In primary school, I deliberately lowered my grades and studied less so to be more equal to my classmates. Not tower above them like a genius (which I am not, but the average level was dismal in my class). I didn’t understand people who learnt for maths or English tests. I only ever learnt for tests where you had to memorize rather than understand, such as history or biology.
In high school, I was surrounded by somewhat brighter students. Likewise at university, but even a lot of my BA courses were cruising (from an intellectual perspective). I did have to study for them (to memorize), and some sort of motivation to study for exams I do have, but outside that – I just can’t be bothered to systematically work towards improving myself. The rewards are not concrete enough. I wonder if it’s the early years of being so used to doing very little to obtain good results that this has become ingrained. I’m really just naturally lazy too, of course, no doubt about that.
I’ve spent years at a point from which I don’t develop further intellectually. It’s snug here. I’m smart enough. Just enough. I can write tolerably enough. My English is decent enough. Everything is enough. Not great, but enough.
I’ve put no effort into being here intellectually, but I would have to if I wanted to progress further from this point.
But the laziness and self-satisfaction.
I’ve been thinking that I’d like to live like the moomins really. Their family dynamics are delightful. And if you want to be a moomin, there is no reason to become very intelligent, but you would need to have an open mind and an intelligence for living. As a moomin, I can have strawberries on the veranda and stars in the sky bright enough to get a stiff neck from staring. I can build a tree house with the kids and water my husband from the watering can when he is napping (and I’m not).
But it’d take a few years until then. These days, I have to content myself with threatening to water the cat.
And meanwhile, my laziness does frustrate me.
So there. Hoping against hope to conquer it.
In other words, on days like this, I love my job. I do have some work I could be doing, but it’s not pressing, so it will be done in the evening.
What my cat thinks of me studying psychology:
Kibble: Orijen with chicken
Canned food: Applaws with tuna filet
Snack: GimCat Sticks with beef
Claudicat’s package arrived this morning! And she was very excited to explore its contents. I got excited too, seeing her so happy and curious. She has previously been eating pet store brand foods (Proplan, Hills, Royal Canin, Gourmet), but the ingredients lists did not please me. They are the cat equivalents of junk food. Salmon pate containing 4% salmon just does not sound right, does it? She also seems to have developed an addiction to kibble. If I gave her all the kibble she wanted, she’d puff up like a balloon from overeating. So diagnosis: Claudicat is a junk food addict.
Now, everyone knows that junk food addicts don’t eat healthy food. Claudicat is also not a fan of home food and it’s a struggle to get her to eat real chicken or fish, but we manage somehow. She eats them, grumpily, but eats. So I was quite apprehensive whether she’d eat her new kibble by Orijen, which promises to contain higher quality ingredients and be grain free. I’ve bought her higher quality canned foods previously and these she sometimes completely refused to eat.
But! She ate it up like a good cat! I was very pleased. Her package also contained canned tuna by Applaws and a cat snack for a gift. Isn’t it lovely when stores add something extra to the package? Claudicat was very purry about the extra too.