I want to be Jeff Buckley, but I’m Rodney Trotter.
I have lost motivation, lost faith in my will power, in my ability to turn things around. Sometimes, the old feeling returns in little flashes, like glimpses of a past mind and a more hopeful spirit. Sometimes, something makes me aware that I do have a fine mind and a lot of potential. But there is nothing to sustain it and I lose faith quickly. Lose motivation to try. Even though I know I could at this point turn the tables around, instead of drowning in my swamp of nothingness. But I drown.
I have also lost interest in writing on this blog.