Ugh

I did something stupid yet again. I started writing a story. For practice. And what do I do? I practice in highest league styles of Dylan Thomas, Virginia Woolf and Dostoyevski.

But the readers of Dylan Thomas and Dostoyevski would find out I’m an impostor, so what am I doing writing like this? I don’t really want these people to be reading me. My only hope as an author is to reach the kind of audience that won’t be able to tell I’m an impostor.

Getting practice is not really a justification as I require practice in my own league very much too. But no, I automatically go for this.

I wonder if my self-doubt is a good sign? Is this encouraging I’ve so much self-doubt? Can I dare to take comfort in it?

Reasoning: it seems not uncommon that those with some amount of talent suffer from great self-doubt, whereas those with very little or none, have buckets of confidence.

Were it so. I don’t know. But hard work can make up for lack of natural talent to some extent, so I’ve chosen writing as my hopefully future job over psychology.

Yes, after 4 years I’ve finally decided that question. Felt good to know.

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